Child-free weddings can be a tricky subject to navigate. Especially if you don't have children of your own or have close family members with children and want a child-free wedding.
Let's get one thing straight. Infants at weddings do not count as children, so if you're the couple getting married, expect there to be babies around if you have them close enough to you in the family. Accept it and move on - unless you're going to uninvite one or both of the parents which I can't say I recommend! Also, you don't have to provide them with anything - maybe a feeding room for the parents to slip away and have a quiet moment to feed their child, but that will not be at any extra cost to the couple, just something to tell the venue and they will sort something out for them.
If you are a guest to a wedding with an infant, you should be prepared to bolt... what we mean is, sit at the back during the ceremony and if your baby starts to cry, you can easily step out. This is from someone whose babies slept through the entire ceremony except for a massive fart during the vows. You just can't make this stuff up.
Even for the speeches, it's a nice courtesy to be able to stand near an exit door with the baby, again, for a quick getaway in case of any screams. There's also nothing wrong with asking the couple (well in advance may I add) to be seated near the back for a quick escape.
That being said, as a couple, if you're wanting a child-free wedding, your guests will do what they need to do in order to sort out childcare and be in attendance.
My top tips for this are;
Give plenty of notice - like, even before you've given out the save the dates, let them know it's child-free.
Understand that some parents just are not prepared to spend the day apart from their kids and you may have to lose them as a guest. This doesn't mean they love you any less.
Stay strong - It might upset people but it's up to the guests as to how they deal with it and what they do.
Ok, now for people who want to have kids at their wedding.
My top tips;
Embrace to chaos. Kids are unpredictable and sometimes that's the best bit! Don't expect them to be quiet and keep to themselves.
Put yourself in their shoes. Would you be able to sit and be quiet for 45 minutes whilst everyone in a room is watching 2 people tell each other how much the love one another? Urrrmm, no. Something I've seen before is a quiet room set up in the side room of a church, with things like colouring and books. You can do something similar in a venue, if you make sure the child is sitting on the far end of the row of seats during the ceremony.
Have contingency plans for when they don't follow suit. Is someone in the venue able to take them to run around outside? As long as there's no sound, can you give them an iPad or phone to watch or play games on whilst the ceremony is going on?
Soft play/ nanny services. You can hire nanny services throughout the whole wedding day, but these are particularly helpful during the natural lulls of the day, usually between the wedding breakfast and the reception. Having someone who is there solely for childcare makes things so much easier for the parents of the kiddies, not to mention the couple! These services range in pricing so depending on how many kids you're having at your wedding, it will probably be a fabulous investment!
Entertainment bags - we did a wedding in July 2024 and they had 3 flower girls ranging in ages, but they did the most beautiful personalised tote bags that they put on the backs of their chairs when they arrived at the wedding breakfast. Each bag has their name on them and had colouring books, new pencils, crayons and activity books that were personalised to the grooms. You can do these very easily on Canva or you can buy them on Etsy, then just print them off!
Disposable cameras - give each child a disposable camera and give them a list of prompts of thing to take pictures of during the reception. Again, it depends on how many kids you have and also their ages as disposable cameras can be very expensive! Also, be careful where you shop as they can have sneaky development fees and lots of recent reviews saying half the pictures didn't work!
Overall, it really depends on you as a couple to decide if you want kids at your wedding or not. If you want a child-free wedding - stay strong and don't be swayed, but keep in mind, infants don't count.
If you're all about the chaos, then give them plenty of activities and things to do whilst keeping mind, kids are unpredictable and absolutely hilarious!
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